Relative difficulty: Medium-Challenging
THEME: "Pair of" sure does sound like "PARA-" — words beginning "PARA-" get wacky "?" clues suggesting they actually begin "Pair of ..."

Word of the Day: JOTTO (29D: Word-guessing game) —
Jotto (sometimes Giotto{pol: Dżiotto}) is a logic-oriented word game played with two players, a writing implement, and a piece of paper. Each player picks a secret word of five letters (that is in the dictionary, generally no proper nouns are allowed, and generally consisting of all different letters), and the object of the game is to correctly guess the other player's word first. Players take turns guessing and giving the number of Jots, or the number of letters that are in both the guessed word and the secret word. The positions of the letters don't matter: for example, if the secret word is OTHER and a player guesses PEACH, he gets a reply of 2 (for the E and the H, even though they're in the wrong positions). Using a written-out alphabet, players cross out letters that are eliminated with Jot counts of 0 and other logical deductions. (wikipedia)
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OK, before you go all "How could you call this 'Medium-Challening!?' Why, I did it so fast that blahbitty blah blah blah blah..." on me, let me explain. I have recorded 10 Monday NYT scores this year (I think this is technically the 11th Monday puzzle of the year, but I spent one of those Mondays incapacitated by a stomach virus, clearly too sick to bother recording my time). Of those ten recorded times, today's time (3:24) was my 9th fastest. But it's only 34 seconds slower than my fastest time. And my very slowest Monday time, even as a freakish outlier at 3:45, is still not even a full minute slower than my fastest. So, what I'm saying is, Mondays are easy, and even the slightest hesitation can give me a "bad" time. I will say that JOTTO and LAUGHER (42D: Lopsided win, in slang) are unusual for a Monday. Wife hadn't heard of LAUGHER, and neither of us had heard of JOTTO (though it seems like something that's been in some puzzle in my past). Also, unusually, I floundered for a few seconds in the NW. Also, unfathomably, I blanked on OLAN *again* (2D: "The Good Earth" heroine)! Twice this month! What the hell. Her name will Not Stick. Stupid crosswordesey name from a book I've never read. Speaking of which ...
As you all know, there are things I don't know. Many things. I tell you about them. Every day. I'm fundamentally ignorant in a million ways. So why does this fact continually come as a shock to so many people? You should know that if you write me an email that begins, or even includes the phrase, "I can't believe you didn't know," or "I'm shocked and saddened you didn't know," or "How could you not know," etc. (all actual phrases people have used), well, first of all, you are about the 5 millionth person to write such an email, and second, I almost always delete or bounce such messages. OK, that isn't true: I reply to 95% of my mail (most of which I'm quite grateful for), and actually, many of these "you are ignorant" messages are from very well-meaning people, who usually start out by saying nice things, e.g. "I love your site, but even my half-witted nephew knows ..." I just wonder why people seem to expect me to be omniscient, and to know and care about everything *they* know and care about. Look, if you want to fill me in on why something I don't know about is worth knowing about, awesome. I'm all ears. But if you're just wagging your finger, well, I have suggestions about other uses to which you might put said finger. Unless you, too, expose your ignorance to the world 365 days a year. In which case, have at me. [this paragraph inspired by the weirdly fervent fan base of Jack Finney's novel "Now and Again," from whom I heard in scolding droves yesterday ... OK I probably heard from only three of them, but man they cared a lot. I wonder how many of them are composing emails right now, explaining that the title in question is actually "Time and Again" ...]Today's theme was not very likable. The plurals (necessitated by the "Pair of" concept) were uwelcome, esp. PARAMOUNTS. Further, PARATROOPS, while a valid word, makes me wish I were seeing PARATROOPERS. And since PARATROOPS actually use PARACHUTES ... that was a bit too much PARA-overlap for me. In general, the governing pun is corny and the resulting fill boring. As a palate cleanser, I watched this:
Theme answers:
- 17A: Two steeds? (PARAMOUNTS)
- 11D: Two scout groups? (PARATROOPS)
- 27D: Two charts? (PARAGRAPHS)
- 57A: Two water slides? (PARACHUTES)
- 24A: Industrialist J. Paul ___ (GETTY) — eponym of a great L.A.-area museum. You have to ride this tram thingie to get up there, and then you get this beautiful view of the ... whatever valley that is. The art isn't bad either.
41D: Mannerly guy (GENT) — I thought "isn't there someone named 'Guy Mannerly?'" But I was thinking of Walter Scott's novel 'Guy Mannering," which, you have to admit, is pretty close.- 44D: Rocking toy, in tot-speak (HORSEY) — I strangely enjoyed this clue. And answer. I think "tot-speak" is about as fresh and imaginative as this puzzle got today. Well, no ... I have to admit to liking LAUGHER quite a bit, actually.
- 51D: Greek Cupid (EROS) — Oh, *Greek*. I really should read the clues more carefully. Had the "O" and wrote in AMOR.
- 56A: Cuts off, as branches (LOPS) — LOPS would like you to know that it is sad because the clue for LAUGHER ([LOPSided win, in slang]) stole its thunder.
Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld
[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter]
PS It's NCAA Basketball Tournament time. Join my ESPN Tournament Challenge Group, "All Hail OOXTEPLERNON" (pw: obolsmiff). Winner will get a copy of Bob Klahn's new crossword book, "The Wrath of Klahn" (unused!). Go here to sign up. [Crossword publishers should always feel free to send me swag that I can give away, hint hint]


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